My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
