Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

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(916): View more from California

How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.

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(574): View more from Indiana

Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come

(804): View more from Virginia

and you stopped teaching...why?

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun

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(905): View more from Ontario

He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.

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