so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
40s are totally the cure
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
