For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
