If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
