Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
