Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I know her cup size but not her name....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
