I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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