Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
