ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
