I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think my moral compass just broke
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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