I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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