We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
