dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
whose ass print is on the piano?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
