That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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