Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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