Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
