i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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