He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
