Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
