I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
