Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
