I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
