Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
