So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
