yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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