Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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