When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize