I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This is classic penis vs brain.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
