Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
