You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm passing your future prison.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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