Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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