shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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