i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's just like the Real World with babies
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
