Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
