So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
