I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
