apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
