remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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