i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
