god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
