You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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