So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
