You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
