I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
