Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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