Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
