We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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