I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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