im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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