I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
